30 August 2007

TThe 10 Worst Places To Have Sex In San Francisco

4. Sir Francis Drake Hotel rooms

Even if you're so out of your mind with lust that you're ready to hand over your plastic at the Drake for a tumble between their fugtastical sheets, know that you can replicate the experience you're about to have thusly: Get really aroused. Take 10 hits of acid and watch a Cirque Du Soleil video for five hours straight while trying to masturbate wrapped in a pirate-themed Bed Bath and Beyond Bed in a Bag. Throw up on the walls. Cry. Pass out. Wake up wearing the outfit of a footman for a horse-drawn carriage and swear on your life that you are going to shrink-wrap your genitals A.S.A.P.

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